This woman is Phine not fine but Ph to the Muthaphuckin phine.
When I first saw her, I had this stupid look on my face.
I couldn’t even look at her because she was that fine.
I mean dipped in honey phine.
Can’t speak cause the words won’t come out right kind of fine.
The type that will make a Brutha sing, skip, smile and do a flip, kind of Phine.
I mean she’s fine for no reason.
She’s so fine I started shuddering with music playing all in the background of my head.
You see I like to be in control of my feelings. Call me simple but I can’t afford to have my mind wondering.
That’s why I like to say “No”.
In fact, I like to say, “Hell no.” To be exact, “Phuck no, shit no and hell to the nah.”
I’ll tell a chick to get out of my face real quick.
But this woman right here turns all my pockets into rabbit ears, with ease.
She’ll make a hard nicca soft, turn a tough gangsta into a pucci. Hands down drop dead gorgeous, she is.
Don’t let her smile cause then, it’s over. Lights out homie.
I have to wait 5 seconds to search for the right words before I speak or type, kind of phine.
I have to drink some water before and after, something kind of special, phine.
The kind of fine having a brutha running home sayin’, “Look Ma. Look what I’ve found.”
Did I fail to mention that this girl is phine? Too phine and too rich for my blood. I mean rich like red velvet cake.
I’d eat that shit right off of her. I wouldn’t need any milk. Just a napkin and a spoon will do.
Her skin looks like butter and is smooth like a baby’s bottom. If only I had the chance to lick her skin just to see if it taste different.
It cracks me up just to think about her. And it hurts my bump too. If you know what I mean.
When I do try to look at her, I don’t look at her straight in the face.
Nah! I turn sideways and look down to the right, as if I lost something on the floor.
That’s right. I take small sips of this bag of chips. Only when she’s not looking is when I get brave and steal an eye full.
That’s too much light to be looking at all at once.
Too much sun hurts the eyes. Don’t let her smile. If she does, then it’s over.
When and if she catch you staring, just don’t have your mouth open cause you’ll look like a fool if you do.
It’s rare for me to come across a woman of this magnitude. I
‘m not trying to be rude. So please excuse the language that I’ve been using.
Her body is just my type. She has that, “Roll over love” kind of body.
It’s like a fight with a roller coaster at Great Adventurers. A Six Flags theme attraction called, “Kattapult”.
Have you ever fought with a roller coaster before? It requires 100mg of Viagra and two red bulls.
Riding a live bucking bull has nothing on Katt. Her butt don’t stick out it sprout out.
I just know it’s wetter than a lake, but I’d lick my lips just the same.
Yes lord, like a cup runith over and then I’ll say, “More please.” Followed by, “Thank you very much.”
It’s that good gush is what I’m talkin’ about.
The type one would have to bend down and kiss it, then make a wish.
“Dear lord, what will it take just to smell it and lick the sides of her Kitty Katt? I just want to make it purr, for meh.
If you just let me suck a small shit pebble out her ass, I’d be straight.
That would be my way of letting her know I think her shit don’t stink. Stop playin’ Lord.
I just want to tap the combination to her master lock and say, “Nice Kitty”. That’s it. I’m not asking for much.
Please bless me Lord. Amen.”
You know when I think about it, I couldn’t just be her friend. I’d be fooling myself if I tried.
Well, I guess I would if I have to but that’s Georgia pudding right derr, imported from Brooklyn.
Too sweet to be a peach and not eat. I’m sweating just thinking about her.
(Sigh) You never have this kind of problem with an ugly woman.
You can watch the phone ring and let it go to voicemail when a ugly women calls.
In fact, you can send it to voicemail directly and don’t even think twice about it. You can’t do that with a phine woman.
I’d pick that shit up on the very first ring. Talkin’ about, “Hi baby. What took you so long to call?
I almost lost my mind thinking about you. Wondering if you’re alright.
What cha doing? Did you eat? Do you need for me to run and get you anything?
I mean anything, baby.
On the real, I want to know
What makes her laugh
What makes Katt pat her feet
To the kind of food she may eat
A particular sound or beat
What kind of soap she use to
Wash her face
What tooth paste she likes
To brush her teeth and
Why they shine so bright like a pair of
Iced out diamond ear rings
Katt has that breath taking
Devastating and elevating
If I already had a woman I’d call her
Telling her I’m never coming home
And to leave me alone
Because my criteria and taste in women has changed