So what my lips are like soup coolers. They get the job done. I haven’t any complaints either. Hey, I’m a good guy and far from being a dog of a man on any level. Life is complicated enough don’t you think?
I just like to have my options open before making the wrong decision. I don’t have cold feet nor am I scared to commit, although a few things are kind of scary. Like dating a woman that wears a wig. Now that shyt scars the shyt out of me cause you never know what’s under her hat. What if she has no hair? What if there lines of cotton fields growing? What if she has grey pop corn going on? What if my hair looks better than hers? Yeah, I know small minor details, right? But what if she wears a ton of makeup and she’s not the same person the morning after, the night before? To think of the damage to the pillow case, thou.
Oh boy, I didn’t need that kind of thought nor did I need the image to be burned on my brain. What did I do… Um. Okay, let me calm down. Wait! What if I tell her sweet words for months, wine and dine her and she takes the wig off and the cat’s out of the bag? Wouldn’t it be fair of me to drop that bag? I mean I can cry foul ball, right? Do I have to bring home spoiled groceries from the Farmers Market, again? I hate when that happens. I just want to know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and not a train wreck ahead. That’s not asking for much. Right? Do I have to pay her to go away or is it cheaper to keep her? Humm, talking about having options. Don’t hate congratulate.
I had gotten burned once before (well, maybe twice) but I’m not bitter about my experience, I think. I’m not wired to be with just one woman. Nobody wears one pair of underwear. Nobody eat just one type of food. Well, most people don’t. Nobody has only one suit or a singe pair of sneakers and no one has just one pair of socks. In fact, I don’t know one person that does. Okay, my cousin does but we’re not talking about her right now. It’s a long story, trust me. Back to my point… People want to have a variety. Why is it when it come to choosing a significant other we are restricted to have only one? It just doesn’t make sense to me. Com’on fellas are you with me? Ladies??? I know you would love to have more than one husband. Think of all the shopping you will do. The credit cards and money you will spend. The different cars you will have and drive. Think about the sex… I can’t picture my woman having sex with multiple partners. Damn, another burnt image in my head. Somebody save me. No, I stand firm to my point of view.
In fact, its not logical. It’s like having dinner and eating only one piece of steak cooked medium rare, with no sides; no rice, peas, no curry chicken or sweet potato pie. It’s like only drinking water and excluding soda, milk, orange juice, wine and beer (hiccup). How boring is that? I’m a Moet man with a side of Patron. Okay, I like some Hennessey with a mix of Alize. Back home we called it “Thug Passion”. Now that I’m thinking about it, who does that kind of dumb shyt? Who thinks like that and who came up with such a stupid rule? I bet they were a lonely fat fart that never had gotten laid but had money.
The Winner Is…
Imagine a woman only having one color of lipstick to wear and I hate lipstick. What if she could only wear one padded bra and I hate the visual lie? Divorce under false pretense I’d say. “Objection your honor. The defendant is out of line”. Picture her owning only one pantie and turning them inside out for the next day of use. Ew! I’m a simple man and I have needs. Only on occasions am I a very complex person, like Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays. Yeah! That’s it, I think. I have to surround myself with different types of women for different types of reasons. You know, for conversation and mental stimulation.
Besides, I kinda like living alone. I travel a lot and my type of work takes me aboard to different countries for weeks at a time. The culture is different aboard and the rules are different, too. Let me see if I can get away with this one… A man should have as many women his heart can handle and his pockets can afford. I can only afford one at this present time and this is merely an opinion. Yeah, that’s it. I like how that just rolled off my tongue.
Look don’t get me wrong I love women. So I spread it out to even or level the playing field. I just so happen to love my woman too much to place that kind of burden on her to satisfy all my needs. It simply wouldn’t be fair of me to do such a thing. I’m just being thoughtful and considerate.
Heaven is at the foot of Mother…