Child Support: Anger, Bitterness & Spitefulness

 The good ole relationship and the days of Nana and Poppa are long behind us.  Almost nobody is retiring from a job after 20 years and only a few can say they worked at one place for as long to retire from.  The same can be said about lasting relationships. 

Child Support: Anger, Bitterness & Spitefulness

Today, in this microwave society people can’t stay with one another for 5 minutes let alone for five years, remain happy, not throw up both of their hands and look for an excuse for a quick exit out of the relationship.  Don’t let there be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow which will only add to the incentive.  For the most part, man is almost absent in the household. It’s foolish for our daughters to rely on anyone, except for family, to do right by them; especially a person with a poor track record and one that has failed to get to know each other properly.

Take Under Consideration:

It’s nobodies fault but our own.  If you’re a case of a hit and run, a one night stand, drunken sex gone wild and then somehow gone wrong or simply a victim of a weekend booty call, a person should just chalk that shyt up and kiss it to the game (Muah).  At least this is what I would share with my daughter, while holding her tightly in my arms.  Together, we are going to get through this, baby girl.  The object is to force her to think and use her brain and don’t fall back on the blame game because no one is going to think nor have her best interest as she would and should.

The Physical & Financial Burden:

Although it takes two to create a child the physical burden tend to fall on one person, the woman and because it is the woman that is normally left with the child, it’s the woman that should always take the necessary precautions, if she can,  when it come to birth control.  This doesn’t free the man from his responsibility of using birth control, but with the overall percentage of unwanted relationships  the woman should  act first and take precautions, long before she meets a man.  However, not all women can take traditional birth control due to health issues or religious beliefs .

Let’s Be Clear:

For the women that believe all men are dogs they shouldn’t have too much of a problem with the above statement and should be reminded that dogs don’t sleep with cats or rats.  Dogs sleep with other dogs.  So, if men are dogs what does that make you?  Hoes don’t hoe alone…  Just because he wears a suit, drives and nice car, own a bad ass house and has a good job doesn’t make him a decent man. Even if he’s a Pastor don’t make him a good catch either.  It only means that he’s better at disguising his shyt from you.

Child Support: Anger, Bitterness & Spitefulness

Did you warn him at the very beginning, before the relations and before the relationship, that you will take him to court and take half of his check, should he don’t act right?  If not, why not?  Did you talk to him before you made the decision for the both of you?  Why would you hold that back?  Why not discuss your “rainy day” at the very beginning? When you stop taking those pills you had a plan, right? You knew exactly what you where doing even though he wasn’t ready to be a father.   You wasn’t talking bout no court then were you? When he placed your pucci upon a plate, ate, licked your clit sideways and ran his tongue up and down the crack of your ass without a napkin nor a spoon, you wasn’t talkin bout no child support while you were climbing the walls then were you?  When he made you cum 3 times you didn’t scream out “Half nicca or 17%”, now did you? Trifling ass…

Fellas, just because she has a Master’s degree, drives a fly ass whip, has good credit and own her own house doesn’t mean that she is a good woman.  It only means that she has made some accomplishments in life.  It doesn’t matter if she’s a Pastor’s daughter.  Keep in mind even a bitch can make it, too.

You were smooth in your approach and she looked so good, right?  You kicked it as if you were the one that was going to place a ring on her finger.  You wasn’t pissed off then were you?  You was just thinking about a nut, huh?  You didn’t tell her about your other family, right? You didn’t think about the repercussions; with the wrong woman you gotta pay to play.   You didn’t tell her about all those other children you have did you?  You didn’t tell her because you knew she wouldn’t phuck with you.

When you folded her legs back, took off the condom and you went in raw, you knew what you were doing, right?  What did you tell her?  It feels better this way, right?  Did you talk to her before you made the decision for the both of you?  Did you tell her how many other women you left strained?  That wasn’t on your mind when she slobbed da knob, right?  When she blast you off and you touched the ceiling it was all good then, right?  The head was good too plus she swallowed.  Do you remember when she had tears in her eyes from choking on it?  It felt good to you, huh?  Didn’t you know it was going to cost you something?  You was caught up in the moment. She made you feel like king and had your head spinning when you flipped her ova and rocked her from the back, Indian style, right? You smacked her on the butt demanding an answer, “who’s pucci is this”? You didn’t care that there were kids already in the house.  Now she cringe at your slightest touch.  Bum ass…

My Precious:

You are valued, highly valued, much loved and considered to be of great importance to me. You are not to be wasted. To me you are rare and unique.  Daughters should be told to never lay with a man unless she is prepared to carry the weight of being a single parent.  At the beginning and at the end of the day our women have to be strong or keep their legs closed.

No matter how much one loves the other there’s a chance he/she will not be around for the long haul.  There may be even a chance that she is not the person she represents herself to be at the beginning of the relationship.  The same can be said about him.  When that situation occurs neither party should be bitter, nasty, vindictive nor angry.   Twisting a person’s arm to do something he/she doesn’t want to do will only make that person resent you and your child for your entire life. I say “your child” because it instantly become your child when things don’t go as planned, but it’s our child when everything is gravy, money is flowing and time has been well spent.

There are both, dead beat fathers and mothers that truly don’t care. Then there are those that do care but can’t afford supporting their children and spend the much needed quality time with their children as they would like and should. The financial burden tend to fall on the man.  Dating, juggling two households and trying to maintain the peace on $11.50 an hour is nearly impossible. Not many mothers care about how the other half is living.  They don’t care if he’s eating or has a roof over his head. They don’t bother to find out if they are safe or warm and inside from the cold.  They don’t care if the last time he purchased a pair of sneakers for himself was about three years ago.  They just want to stick it to him and show him who has the upper hand.

Never give your child a false hope of parenting. If a man is going to be there trust when you are told he will be there. If not, fine and move on without him. Financial matters is not child support. Real parents take care of their responsibility. They will be there through thick and thin unless they are thousands of miles away. You won’t have to chase behind a person to do this, that or the other for their child. These are the ones that are there in the hospital to cut the cord or be there when he/she breaks their arm. They are there when that child takes his/her first steps, teething, get sick or get bullied while in school. That’s what real parenting does.

To the brother or sister that’s quick to run to the court house to pay the bear minimum, something like $25 a week just so they can keep from getting into trouble, going to jail and to hold on to their drivers license.

Child Support: Anger, Bitterness & Spitefulness

Do you think the bear minimum is worth all the trouble? Do you think that $25 helps to raise a child?  Do you think it’s worth allowing a person to have the entitlement to say, they take care of that child just because they fork over $25 or they do what they can do? That my love doesn’t make any sense. Being vindictive because you’re hurt, frustrated and not knowing how to properly channel your anger is the key factor in most child support cases. Many men and women use child support out of spite. They are bitter and upset because things didn’t work out. The relationship failed or the person cheated; things didn’t go as planned and they plot their revenge. What do they say? “I’m gonna get that bitch. Who do they think they are? I’m gonna get his/her ass and put them on child support. Let the man get at them.

Why are you worried about the emotional relationship when it come to that child? He or she did you wrong. He or she didn’t do the child wrong. Stop putting people on child support because of what they did to you. Do you honestly think that makes you a strong Black woman/man, begging for a couple of dollars, table scrapings? No, it make you look foolish while it make others rich.

The Warm Hard Facts:

To all the women that say, “Well he wasn’t talking all that junk when he was phuckin me”. Think about sweetie, you wasn’t talking any of that junk when you was phuckin him. He didn’t force you to open your legs. What’s the difference? He’s just as dumb as you. Dumb and dumber equals stupidity. You both didn’t take the time out to know one another, now ya’ll want to point fingers at each other when both of us is wrong.

Judges also get “bonuses” for awarding back support on child support cases!

Child Support:

This shyt is real.  You are putting people that you don’t know all up in your business. You’re allowing the law, the government and state into your affairs.  That person gets hit twice in taxes for the same service. It’s called duplication of services.   You don’t get all of the money only some of the money cause the middle man gets his cut or fee. We are giving all this money to other people.  Meanwhile, we stay broke.  Think about it.  Three hours in court only to discover you are only getting the bear minimum, but you’re wise and strong.  Child support is basically making a person finically obligated, committed to something they don’t care about. It’s pretty much like you’re suing them. How can you sue a person for having a child? You are making them finically take care of a incident they don’t want to take care of.

Clubbin It:

You know who you are.  You can’t wait for the support check to arrive so you can hit the mall, shop til you drop and then go post up at the club.  Some people take trips and the child doesn’t see a dime of that money.  When you’re clubbing it-it only means that you’re phuckin up the money.  Don’t talk about you got rent, gas, light bill you have to pay and that you have to eat.  Be a phuckin woman, be a man.  You have to pay your light bill regardless love.  You have to eat regardless.  You have to pay rent regardless.  Take your behind and get another job and stop trying to live off another person hard work, sweat and tears.  Bet you ain’t that mad when you’re shakin that ass, stuntin in the club, huh?

Let’s Get Deeper:

What about the good men & women that are on child support? Many are not supporting them in return. You are making or allowing an outside agency to forcefully seize and take a portion of their check and they truly love their kids but it’s hard to pay rent, and come up for a visit cause they don’t have the money to freely travel cause you’re getting half of their pay.

Child Support: Anger, Bitterness & Spitefulness

So, there’s a child involved and the person you are with is not what you expected them to be now you call them all kind of names.  Do you see the women in the picture above?  Notice she is blindfolded and the scales are not balanced.  That is not by mistake.  Now both parties have each other by the shorts and curlies…

Shame on you for not falling in love with your best friend, cause that’s what he/she should be to you, first.

Harlem,

Heaven is at the foot of Mother…