Sunday’s Brunch: Girls Club Chatter

Our love is solid like a rock. Nothing can tear us apart.

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Muffin: “He is out of his mind, doesn’t he know I be tired after a long days work? Girl I need a vacation cause these men must be crazy. After I put the kids down I barley have enough energy for myself to watch television, let alone be affectionate and want to roll around in the bed with him”.

Nesha: “I could care less about the energy girl. It’s all about my recent weight gain from the baby. This C section scar doesn’t make a girl feel sexy either. When I’m in the bathroom and getting dressed I don’t what him around looking at me. It’s hard enough to get dressed in front of the mirror then have him groping at me, tryin to get some. In fact, I think it’s very selfish of them to expect us to pretend to feel something that we don’t, just because they’re in the mood. Lord knows I can use a few days in the sun myself. If only I could slip away and have him take care of the baby”.

Muffin: “Selfish is right, if they came home early and took care of the kids when they get home or even in my case, if he made dinner once in a while I would be more interested in having sex. Shyt, if the nicca would just pick up some groceries every now and again on the way home from work. I don’t ask for much. You know what i’m sayin? Don’t get me started.  Girl, I haven’t let him touch me in four weeks. Every time he tries I shoot it down. No spark, no fire. If i’m feeling it then, maybe but it’s on my terms”.

Nesha: “Lol! Word, girl? Well, it’s been at least two weeks for us. I can’t even be bothered.  Talking bout not feeling it.  Ain’t no jump off.  Ain’t no fire and there’s defiantly no feet touching anymore.”

Muffin: “I hate it when a bitch be tryin to fall asleep then here he comes trying to roll ova, poking me, all stiff rubbin up thinkin he gonna get some. Talkin bout, raise dat ass and boonk up for me baby”.

Nesha: “Ew! That’s when I give Byron Mr. Elbow. How about cleaning out the garage or helping out with Jason’s diaper? I’m not trying to have another baby until I lose about 45lbs”.

Muffin: “More like hand him a jar of Mr. Cold Cream while I dream.  I tied the knot a long time ago. Ain’t no more coming out of this here”.

Nesha: “Girl, I know that’s right…

(Both women laugh, hold up their glasses, toast and sip away on their drinks)

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The enjoyment of playing musical chairs with special stacked rules and getting to sit first while the music is still playing.

It’s just like a woman to make a grocery run a test for her love. How sad, wasteful and stupid. To live with someone yet the house remains empty. To have or to share a bed without a heartbeat, yearns a pulse. Fiction becomes fact while facts are feelings.

When a person gets married or if two people simply live together, they should want to always want to have sex with their spouse/significant other and should never be too tired. It’s just insidious to want a Brutha to bring home the groceries just to prove he cares.

Instead, it’s one test after another. Someone bothered to get involved and/or marry these ladies and is willing to share their bed. They both could have sex all the time but chose not to do so.  Makes a person wonder why they had gotten married in the first place. Isn’t this a game that is played prior to getting married? Sounds absurd doesn’t it? This is why some men never marry again after such an experience.

Some women blame their husbands for their intrapersonal problems. They’d rather feel cheated than look at themselves for feeling like a complete failure. Isn’t the fight from being single to become married the fight worth fighting? If so, why during this time women will find themselves a little distant? They’ll also find themselves falling asleep without talking or kissing the man they have at home. There was a time these women wished they had a man to hold and kiss them but now they’re too tired or couldn’t be bothered.

It’s almost safe to say that anybody can get married but becoming a partner in life is an entire different beast. That means being married and being ready to be someone’s life partner should not be misconstrued as being the same. Being married and being a life partner includes a person”s growth, their expansions and their changes. Sometimes when you’re married the romance comes and it goes but what never leaves is that friend love; the commitment to ride and die with someone for every step of their life. That should kick in automatically. It’s easy to do when you “like” someone.

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A change of heart.  A change of season.

Did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? Did you know the ones who take care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? Did you know the three hardest things to say are, I love you, I’m sorry and help me, please? Sometimes, just because a person looks happy you have to look past their smile to see how much pain they may be in. One will never know if a person has family problems, health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just needs to know that someone cares.

We should learn to release or remove people from your life when their season is over. We tend to hold on to people because of the comfort level we’ve created ova the years. We fail to realize that everything we need is right outside of our comfort zone. Know the difference between those that are assigned to you verse those that are attached to you. Evaluate your friends list and control, alt and delete a bitch quick. Why are some people so quick to refuse the good things in life and settle for crap?

So many people swore to never be like the women above and vowed their life would be different. They would claim to be a better woman. Some women need any number of criteria’s met to feel loved. The ole tingle of the leg always excited her, in the past, when she heard his “Kyle Barker” voice. Men are far simpler. Men need to be fed, they need to be appreciated, and they need to have sex. That is it. It’s not a 6 hour surgery.

You need to have a moment in each day that is just about the two of you. Remember that unforgettable person that blew your socks off? The one that made your heart thump, check your breath and made your hands sweat? The one that called when you hoped they would, that made you run feverishly and sour high upon the stars until you thought your feet would never come down and touch the ground? He/she is still there.

Beneath all the years and all the bills and worries that man you’re still with is still in love with you and needs his “sunshine” back in his life. Every night after the kids go to bed is a chance to light the torch again.  Take a moment to remind yourself that you are living a picket fenced adventure and may we all thank the lord there’s nothing that we can’t do. Ladies, did it ever occur to you that you should have sex mainly because you deserve it?

In the beginning and at the end of the day people aren’t going to live up to everyone’s goals and expectations. We have to work within our innate ability.

Harlem,

Heaven is at the foot of Mother…

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