By 
Young Women & Older Women
Nah, nicca I’m an ole man. Getting money and having sex is everything. At this point and time what do I look like tryin to phuck wit a chick my age? That’s like forcing two fat people to be together. Have you ever seen two big people sit together in a two seater? Don’t, no two fat people want to be with each other unless they both are phucked up.
Ok, picture two fat people phuckin. You see, not even you can stand the sight of something like that. It’s not a sexy look, now is it? Plus, that shyt don’t work nor does it smell right. It is an jaw droppin, eye poppin, and nostril clearing type of odor. In fact it’s not called odor it’s called “Oh dear”.
Young Women & Older Women
Speaking about “Oh dear”, all I’m gonna say is if you a dude, that smell will be on your shyt for at least 2 weeks. They haven’t invented a bar of soap that will kill that scent in less time. If you’re a woman then “Oh dear” will more than likely be inside you for the rest of your life and yes, you will pass that shyt on to the next nicca you’re phuckin.
Ask a phat bitch. She’ll take a skinny nicca ova a cuddle bear brother any day of the week unless the fat dude is holdin a 20 piece of chicken McNuggets wit all three special sauces. Skinny nicca’s fit. It’s just that simple. Especially if he’s holdin a 35 piece White Castle special. You can’t ask a chasing chubby checker dude what he prefers when he got curly fries on his mind cause he be happy just to get some play from a woman. Any attention will do. He ain’t got the freedom to make choices like that. Beggars can’t be choosy, my nicca.
Young Women & Older Women
Man, I tell you young chicks are phucking every chance they get. They are fun, cute, sexy and adventurous. Old bitches want to cuddle, drink prune juice three times a day, they stay tired, make up excuses to go to sleep, always got an attitude but do know how to count and spend a nicca’s money while directing traffic (white glove included). They want to go to places like Florida and the Caribbean Islands and don’t wanta phuck. Imagine a Brutha going to Jamaica and not phuckin. Now picture a Brutha paying for a trip to Jamaica and not getting the chance to lick a little somethin-somethin. Been there, done dat and neva eva again, nope not the kid.
Give me a young chick and we’re phuckin, nicca. Heaven sittin on my face nicca, fo real fo real. I remember my youth very well and young people understand the importance of the sex game. It’s “The Material World” verses “The Physical World”. I can’t tell you what happens to an old bitch when she realizes that she’s old. For the most part she gets bitter as she gets older. Her perception of what a man should be gets warped over time. A simple chick can’t put large amounts of responsibility on a simple guy shoulders, especially not these dudes of today. Old head full with grey better wake da phuckup and check her sleep walking ass at the door.
It’s just like a dude can’t expect to find a chick that can keep the house in order, bring home the bacon and stir that shyt up in a pan without opening their mouths to complain about something or looking around the house to see what a nicca didn’t do while she was out. Look homeboi, the object is to create heaven on earth for yourself. There’s no heaven with an old candle stick chick. They always phuckin up the wick. Trust me when I tell ya. It’s more like hell if you know what I mean. What they say? I ain’t this, I ain’t that. Do this and do that… Oh, man the rules, the excuses, the no sex, I mean the new over used word in an old crabapple’s vocabulary is “NO”.
Fun Lovin Youngin
It‘s not until one gets older and starts to meet women who talk about how sex isn’t important. Those are the women that would if they could phuck only two to three times a year and on their terms only. I wish I can pay rent on my terms and see where that will get me (Out the door). They want to shop and have the coach bags, clothes, eat, drink and go on trips but don’t want to give up any pucci in the process. That’s called landing a sucka, I mean a good friend. Correction, it’s called a companionship. I’d rather have a dog. If they do give some up, if any, it’s more than likely nothing to write home about, I promise you that, but to them they are doing you a favor.
They want to be placed high upon a pedestal which is great just as long my dick is equally placed high upon a platinum pedestal and not buried down inside a glass jar with a sign on it reading “Break in case of Emergency”. If I meet another typical bitch with that mentality expressing that kind of crap I’m gonna drop kick dat bitch so hard I pray that bitch bounce twice in the process.
How about no phuckin, me no spending? No sex? How about I don’t pay a muthaphuckin bill up in this bitch? Oh, no slob down? How about no trips or expensive gifts? Shallow nicca you say? Better yet, how about you just leave? Shallow water that. When a woman thinks about shutting down the candi shop she should just leave instead and don’t look back. The sooner she leaves the better. There’s no need to hang around. No, you made up your mind, so bounce bitch. Head first. I hope you never get the skid marks out of your draws. Don’t hang around to build a case, just vacate the premises. It’s 100 for 100 bitches not 50/50. We ain’t worried about the next nicca you find one to be with either cause we already know how you get down and trust me, we ain’t missing anything on your part. Don’t get it twisted and you ain’t putting out neither. Bitch please… That my friend, is called even Steven. Phuck out of here wit dat bullshyt.
Neva Eva Again
I was married to a smart chick, with a Master’s degree, who thought in such a way and I showed her intelligent mindset my ass to study. Yo when a smart bitch acts up, I got two speeds. Stop and slow. Phuck wit me! I became the greatest asshole on the planet. When she pulled that shyt I was so phucked up I made her think she was calling the shots and filed for the divorce. The trick is to make them reveal their true self as early as possible cause you don’t have time to waste and you want to be out sooner rather than later cause later is too late. Now look at the “Ole Chick” picture now scroll up to the top and look at the pretty young thang. Now which one do you think I’m running home to? Now check yourself, fool cause you just wrecked yourself. Yeah, I’m paying for it but I’m happy.
You want to play me? Okay. Phuck you and the kids. Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids but they are under a woman’s thumb and they are too young to know the difference or what’s best. So I’ll be the bad guy. No playin, no callin, no nothing just me being a straight asshole about it and a creep to you. I’ll act right on my terms. Now reflect on that. The objective is to get you the phuck outta my life as soon as possible. Take what the phuck you need. It’s all material anyway you simple son of a bitch. You not gonna trap me then hold the pucci fo ransom and expect me to fall in line and act accordingly and tap dance to your tune as if I’m a phuckin trained seal.
Oh, hell no. Run that game on Coconut Island or on a nicca without any pockets; a dude that don’t know any better. In fact, run that game on a nicca that’s in desperate need of a green card. That type of dude will worship you and put up with your dumb shyt, until he gets his new identification card. Bitch I will drop you where I found you and this nicca found out quick.
Close the Candi Shop? Phuck you kiss my ass. You didn’t get your way? Phuck you kiss my ass. Sex is an emotional act and if you’re not feeling it you ain’t doin it? Phuck you kiss my ass. Trust me I understand a old woman’s valid points but overstand this. Me, spending my money and throwing it into a black hole is stupid and I get real emotional, so I no can do. Me, paying bills up in this bitch and no sex is on the table, nowhere can it be found on the menu? Sorry babe, I can’t do that either. Payin for vacations and you can’t tell me in advance if we’re phuckin or not. I’m giving up nada. If I don’t feel right I can’t spend money either. Deal breakers: if you are over 36 with no kids and never been married, Zoloft, PMS, fibroids, muscle stiffness, high blood pressure, headaches and blurry vision is not a discount to bargain or negotiate with.
What phuckin planet are you living on with such mentality? You better find one of those dumb, stupid muthaphucka’s that need a visa; that will support your phucking vision and values plus wave a flag on your behalf cause clearly, bitch I ain’t that nicca. (Humm, come to think about it she may have already). Anyway, I wanta feel alive and not like I’m in a coffin with your straight jacket style of living. Just flip an old bitch like a burger on a grill and squeeze all the juice out of her, then cancel her like a bad check. (Cloud bubble to self… I wonder if I be saying this if i had an erectile dysfunction or my back was out of commission or if I had a heart condition? Oh well phuck it. I’ll worry about that when and if the time comes).
I will sign any paper to be rid of your ass. You want me to sign papers giving up custody? Humm, if I don’t then that will make it appear that I’m trying to hold on to you in a warped way. You never say our kids you always talkin shyt about “your kids” so take them, they weren’t mine in the first place. If they are anything like me, should they have a ounce of their father’s blood in them they will see through your bullshit and they will find me and I will be waiting for them. I tell ya, to be brainwashed is a muthaphucka. I’ve been there so trust me when I tell ya.
A woman ain’t hurtin me with that lame shyt. Oh, you want me to sign papers so that you and “your kid” can live outside of the country? Fax me them shyt’s and I will express mail it back to you with a notary seal. The faster you go the faster my new life begins. When I turn my back I don’t look back. If you were truly so worried about the kid then you should have worked harder on the relationship.
Now be gone and I pray you choke on a banana or get cracked upside your head for your passport, bitch. Hope you treat the next nicca better.
This Bud’s For You.
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