Overrated

Young man being married is overrated. Don’t be fooled and save yourself the trouble of finding out the hard way. Stay single for as long as possible and keep your money in your pocket. Save, invest, put it in an IRA and 401K account but don’t you ever put your money in the hands of a woman, unless she’s your mother. You will need it for a rainy day.

Overrated

The fall is a prelude to hell and winter’s wretched cool breeze will have most of us running for the comfort of a nyce, soft, warm body in a heart beat. Being single along with the hardship and the deprivation of winter, alone, is nothing to write home about but the warmth and the happiness that summer brings only means that romance is around the corner.

Being single during the summer time is da shyt. Nicca’s smokin dat green crack, women walking around town half naked showing all their stuff leaving no mystery to the sauce, allowing men to unrobe them with their eyes allowing the imagination to run wild. Women know exactly what they do from the time they wakeup, wash dat azz, spray on some of dat good smellin magic potion and scientifically pick out and place on their underwear. (Sigh!)

Overrated

A man can get his swerve on jumping from one club to the next, rubbing and feeling up on a cute blazin shorty, huggin, kissin never having to commit let alone express his feelings cause after all we all know too well that at the next club a more sexier snuggle bunny with a cuter double dimple smile, a jaw droppin K Michelle bubblelicious juicy fruit booty and a crazy azz set of D’s to match awaits, for you to hold and squeeze. I’m talkin good, hot, summer boo lovin. No matter what a sistah has on it all leads to the same road. Nahmean!

Aint no tyme to settle down, homie. Trust yourself before you trust a woman. Love yourself first before you start treating another chick better than she treats herself. For the most part, women can never be trusted. Their wheels neva stop turning and don’t let them start running their mouth, flappin dem gums. You won’t get a good nights sleep fo real, fo real. Don’t get me wrong they are nice to have around especially when your about to step out and need to be seen while out in public. Just don’t let one force you or talk you into marring them before your time. Time is on your side. They are the one’s that are watching the biological clock (tick tock).

Don’t get caught up in their game to consolidate your funds. Hold out for as long as possible. Today’s women hold fast to the “Hostage List” theory. They have a roll of toilet tissue between their legs which is a map and a list of demands that will blow your mind. Her end game is a cunning one, my son. It’s about control and making you think you wear the pants in the relationship. Just stick and enjoy the “relation” part and leave the “ship” at the port.

If you don’t take my advice one day you will find yourself sitting on the couch, holding your dyck, watching her balloon to an unbelievable size. There will be days not even you will be able to recognize her, as she pounds through the house shattering glass and kickin up tiles from the floor. Trust me when I tell ya she’ll then turn to you and say “Honey, this is as good as it gets”. You better smile and grind your teeth then look the other way unless you want a bowl of spaghetti tossed at your head. She won’t let go of the Italian bread cause she’ll be holdin on to it in her mouth. You won’t have time to miss a beat when you will have to sell to her the idea that she’s fine just the way she is knowing good and damn well that’s a lie. You don’t want to hurt her feelings, you defiantly don’t want no problems and you neva want to be locked out of the bedroom. (Well, at that point that may not be such a bad idea).

Overrated

Anyway don’t get me wrong my friend the first few years will be full of bliss like summer but the happy season seem to change almost overnight as the cool winter breeze sets in. The beautiful years together will be later over shadowed and like shyt thrown in a fan. It all will come back on you like a shyt storm from hell. Neva hang-up your player card or the grey hairs will pop up instantly like pop corn with no butta and we can’t be havin none of that.

You gotta test a hoe cause she’s gonna poke, probe and snoop through your shyt the first chance she gets. Women are intrusive and inquisitive creatures. Hey my boy, they’re just plain ole nosy lil phuckers and they just can’t help themselves. These chicks tend to be the uninvited and unwarranted types that cause disturbance of your peace, livelihood and privacy. Hey, when you deal with a woman ain’t nothin private.

You should set traps to expose her azz as soon as possible. No need to waste money or time on a chick. You want to find out quick just what or whom you’re workin wit so you can kick dat azz to the curb without warning. Trust me, drop kick a bitch on her head and if she bounce a few times the better. She’ll learn better next time. Keep homegirl wondering? Neva inform or educate a snake allowing her to be wiser for the next nicca. Keep a snake as dumb as possible, or they will rise up, sprout legs, wings and try to fly.

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If you have a crab, I mean a woman at your crib and you leave her alone, leave your cell phone and wallet on the kitchen table, in plain sight. Make sure you put about 3 or 4 numbers belonging to your boyz in your phone for when it ring or text message pops up, a picture of a fine sistah appears. She gonna twich and fight the urge at first. Trust me she is gonna check it. It will be written all ova her face when you walk through the door. Make sure you have a special head turning ring tone on that shyt too. In your wallet, put a couple of fake numbers in between some dollars and let the games begin. When or if she tries to call a recording should play “Your busted bitch get yo hand out of my pocket”. This chick will more than likely leave before you return. She’ll be too embarrassed to look you in the face. Now that I think about it you may wanta buy a trap phone.

Now check this out, if you happen to be a little older or just into older women chicks ova 40, with no kids and neva been married, dude don’t drink the Kool-Aide. That’s the turkey basting stage. Her egg count is extremely low and is in desperate need of help, like sperm donor help. Don’t even sip from that cup. That’s a straight up trap. Nobody claimed it and there’s a reason why she’s available and with you. Don’t fool yourself thinking your special cause your not. They more than likely just Roy Jones, stick & moved on a bitch. A life preserver will be needed. Don’t kick while swimming or you will sink straight to the bottom. Quicksand is a muthaphucka.

If she got condoms neva use them cause she may be one of those hole poppin tricks looking for a treat. She’s ole skool & too cool to lose. At that age you betta check fo da cottage cheese because I’m sure, hush puppies, bagels and lox are on her menu.

Harlem,

Heaven is at the foot of Mother…

#longreads, #writing